Everyone always writes about girls guide for going out on South Beach, and what girls need to do to have a good time, but what about the guys?!?!?! I think that It is actually very easy for girls, especial the hot ones. All they have to do is dress slutty and the night is set; they don’t have to wait in long line to get in the clubs, lots of times they don’t get charged to get in places, easy access into VIP areas, and ones they find that naïve, desperate guy, they will drink up for free on his tab and conveniently disappear at the end of the night living him dry, angry and at least couple of hundred dollars in bar tab, and the only p..sy he’ll be seeing that night is the palm of his own hand. Speaking of naïve guys, there are tons of them here on Miami Beach. They come to Miami with this wild fantasy that they will sleep with every girl here. WRONG!!!
So you tell me who needs guidance here – the girls or the boys… I think for the most part defiantly boys. The only thing that girls need is to watch out for the frustrated, drunk, horny, and sometimes angry from lack of sex boys.
Girls on Miami Beach have no problem getting freebies from boys without any intention of somehow returning the favor, and more power to them. It’s not their fault the boys are stupid. Therefore my first advice to boys who come to Miami Beach to “get laid” is - simply skip all the hassle and go straight to the local Miami strip clubs. It will be way less expensive and you’ll have a better chance of seeing ass. Miami has no shortage of gentlemen clubs. There are plenty of awesome strip clubs in Miami area for any taste and budget. Check out this article about strip clubs in Miami.
Here are few other things that you might want to know about before heading out on your nightly adventure on Miami Beach:
1) Obviously the more money you have the better your chances are of landing a hot one night stand. It is known that the girls on Miami Beach mostly go for the guys with money. At this game it could go either way at this point. Let’s say you do end up taking a girl you just met to your hotel room and everything is going your way, but you still need to be careful; there has been many occasions (reported by the news) when your lovely girl companion will wait for you to fall asleep and then take off with all your money and expensive things.
2) Also one thing to remember, very important, if all of a sudden a hot girl at a night club, where it is darker and some of the details get lost in the shadows, comes up to you and starts getting a bit frisky, and you think to yourself, “Wow this is awesome… this has never happened to me before…”, almost too good to be true, then maybe you should check to make sure that your new friend is in fact a girl and not hot looking transsexual. You are not in Kansas anymore my friend – this is South Beach, where love happens in all shapes and forms, just remember that.
3) So if you are a guy here on vacation, and you are out for some fun on South Beach, try to stay away from local girls. Find yourself someone who is also on vacation.
4) Do not go for the sexiest, most attractive girls. They get plenty of action, and tons of guys to choose from as it is. And by the way as a rule they are bitchier and play hard to get than the most. Stop wasting your time, money and go for an average ones. Remember you want to have a one night stand, not to marry them.
5) Go to the bars or clubs after 1 am. By that time most the girls will be ready to go and since you’ll be the only one sober and with the logical thinking – you’ll clearly have an advantage over the rest of the drunk guys. By going late to night clubs and bars you’ll #1 save yourself tons of money because you won’t be buying anyone expensive drinks all night, let someone else do that, and you’ll come to close; #2 girls don’t like drunk guys and since you won’t be that will play to your advantage; #3 by the end of the night it’s crunch time for the ones who want to get sex. They will be desperately looking for someone to hook up with. That someone will be you!
6) Also be very careful if you try soliciting a lady of the night on the streets of Miami Beach. There are a lot of police officers undercover on Miami Beach posing as working girls. Not to mention the actual working girls themselves who prey on intoxicated tourists, ready to rip them off any chance they get.
The bottom line is – don’t be “that guy”… I’ve seen way too many times when young guys frustrated, angry, strolling Ocean drive, Collins Ave or Washington Ave after 3 am disappointed, because they did not score which can lead them to doing stupid things that result in arrest.
Now you cannot say, “I didn’t know”. You have been warned! :)))
Get out there, enjoy Miami Beach, have fun, and party like a ROCK STAR!